The Kitten in the Cap
by Lord Pyron
Summary: I created back-story! Originally written for an essay contest. I didn't win. The whole thing rhymes, so if that gives you a head-ache don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

The Kitten in the Cap

It was a long time ago, way before you and me,

In a time when leaves grew on the Truffula trees

When the Grinch was a baby, and Horton a calf,

And Sam hadn't eaten green eggs, not a half.

In this long ago time, much before me and you,

There once used to be a magnificent zoo

Filled with Ten-Legged Lions and Gwarkesian Birds.

It had Nerkles and Neefers and rare Fuzzy Nerds.

But in one little cage, the smallest cage of all,

Was a kitten in a cap that's three sizes too tall.

But no one can see him, and nobody will

As he's next to the Fizza-ma-wizza-ma-dill.

But he practiced and practiced and practiced all night

'Til his balancing act would give monkeys a fright

A cane made of straw was held tight in his tail

And he balanced a teapot and watering pail

On top of his cap, on a bundled up hose,

And he stood an umbrella on top of his nose.

And once he was carrying half his whole cage

He jumped on a ball and got up on stage.

He wiggled and wobbled on top of his ball.

He held them up high, and he held up them all

And it just so happened that on this bright day

A new talent agent was coming his way.

The man named TD just stepped into the zoo

(He came for a visit with his two nephews)

And as luck would have it, he looked past the rest.

I guess that the Nerkles weren't up to the test.

He saw the kit's act through a gap in the wire

"That's it! In that cage! He's the one I require!"

The cat dropped his act and ran out to the rim

A voice! Could it be? Did someone see him?

And like that, it happened. The kitten got his break

And all just because he could balance a rake.

TD set him up for some fortune and fame

And got him a slot on a show made of games.

He became a huge star, almost overnight.

"The Kit in the Cap" was the name up in lights.

And this wasn't just a short series mind you

The kitten was hosting on season forty two.

The talented kitten grew up on that show

But he did go to school, I will have you know.

The kitten learned many new tricks of the trade

Like how to conduct a koala parade

But one thing he learned, just like all little boys,

Is that you should always pick up all your toys.

But this run of fortune was too good to last

As TD got caught up in debts of the past

And the game show was closed due to increasing tax

Leaving poor old TD unable to relax.

The kitten moved into TD's family house

(Which was really too small for even a mouse)

And even the end of that time was to come

As both TD and kitten had lost their income

So they all got evicted…well what could you do?

The kitten was forced to go back to the zoo

And TD and his nephews wound up on the street.

And wow, I must say that this really looks bleak.

But hope springs eternal. I have good news for you.

Right before kitten made it back to the zoo

A strange little fellow who was wearing a hat

(Exactly the same as the kit's cap at that)

Called the poor kitten around to his side

And as the man spoke the kit's eyes opened wide.

"Hello, my good sir, my name is Cat A

And please, listen close to what I have to say,

As what I say here could now change your life

And save all of you from this homelessness strife.

As you can see, looking from you to me,

We look exactly the same, as same as can be.

And in fact there are lots of us cats, you see

Together, we cats form a society

We all guard the Voom, an almighty force.

To prevent it from being used for evil of course.

We're an organization kept secret from all

And you, my good sir, aren't you that kitten with the ball?

You sir, are exactly the cat that we need

To help make our top secret missions succeed.

I'll give you a job and a home without rent

If you'll become one of our secret agents."

So who was the kitten to turn all this down?

He was taken deep into the heart of the town.

He went down some steps to an old garage door,

And inside that door, why, there were also four more.

They opened and closed as he went down the hall

And a telephone booth was at the end of them all.

He dialled his code number, 5556

(After all, a good agent must know all these tricks).

And he rocketed down to the hidden cat base

Where the Voom was secured and held tightly in place.

When the kitten first met the Voom, he was surprised

That the Voom put a spell on his cap and his eyes.

His new Voomey cap let the kit see through things

(At the cost of a minute of sore eyebrow rings),

But that isn't all that the Voom could create

The Voom gave the kitten a beat-up old crate.

It was small and was red like the fur of a fox,

But the kitten was wowed when he looked in the box.

He gave a large grin that stretched his mouth wide,

"It's bigger in here than on the outside!

Just imagine the toys and the things I could keep!

In here this old box must be fifty feet deep

I know what I'll do! I'll invite all the Things!

They can live in this crate and live here like kings"

So TD (or Thing Daddy, as that was his name)

Brought himself and his nephews, how quickly they came!

They moved right on in after just a small look

And then the box shut with the swish of a hook.

Inside, TD's nephews (Thing One and Thing Two)

Found so many toys and they all were brand new

Their favourite toy must have been two flying kites

That were painted in quarters, in both red and white.

So after the Thing family smoothly moved in

The kitten's new agent job had to begin.

He first met Cat Z, the boss of the classes

Whose height was so small you'd need ten pairs of glasses

Just to see some of the rings on his hat,

But size doesn't matter; he'll make sure you know that.

"Your very first mission we've been at for a while,"

Cat Z said while giving a mischievous smile,

"We need you to enter and search in a house

For a treasure map found on the back of a blouse

A woman has stolen the map from our vault

(And I just have to say that it wasn't our fault).

But this mission is tricky, and I'll tell you why.

She's trained her pet fish to act as a spy.

And you'll never be able to search on your own.

She leaves her two kids in the house all alone.

So we need you to act like a clown-cat of sorts

And distract her spies as you break into her fort.

Just play some quick tricks, and roll on your ball

And I'm sure you will find it in no time at all."

"But first you will need a code name" Said Cat Z

"And we're all out of letters to name with" He said.

"But since we require you for all of these tasks,

I'll let you pick out a name. Anything you ask."

So the kitten thought hard about what he would say

(As you should know, names are important these days)

He saw that he'd grown since his time in the zoo.

By now he had grown to a large 6 foot 2

And now his old cap seemed to fit him just right

It wasn't too tall, and it wasn't too tight.

So he stood proud and tall, and said without shame

What he had decided to be his new name.

"I'll no longer be just a kit in this cap.

I'll wear tuques and sombreros and cotton head wraps.

I'll garner a gatsby and slip on a slouch

I'll don a deerstalker, a pipe in my pouch

I'll try on a tricorne while speaking Français

I'll find a fedora and buy a beret

I'll fix up a fez, and what else can I do?

I'll purchase a pith helm in Puno, Peru

I'll dress up my head, with a bowtie on that,

And I'll forever be known as the Cat in the Hat!"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello all! Thank you so much for liking this story, I so glad that you enjoyed it. For your further enjoyment, I thought I'd list the references to other things I made while writing this story. If you aren't completely engrossed in Doctor Seuss lore, you may have missed something the first time through. And some references aren't even to Seussian sources.

* * *

><p>List of References:<p>

Truffula trees, the Grinch, Horton, and Sam should be obvious. The Truffula Trees are from The Lorax. Sam is from "Green Eggs and Ham".

All the animals in the zoo are animals listed in "If I Ran the Zoo".

The balancing act the kitten performs is shown in "The Cat in the Hat" when he first holds up all the objects in the house. While on a ball.

Why Season 42? It's the answer to life, the universe, and everything!

The kitten learns to pick up all his toys…like he does at the end of "The Cat in the Hat".

The Cat society, which names Cat A to Cat Z are from "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back", as is the Voom. Apparently, this great force is a very good cleaning agent.

The entrance of the Cat Society is suspiciously similar to Get Smart's CONTROL HQ….

In "I Can Read with my Eyes Shut", the Cat can read through his eye-lids, but his eyebrows get red hot afterwards.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 just seem to live in that crate in "The Cat in the Hat"…well, they actually do it seems. And the kites they play with are quite destructive.

A box that's bigger on the inside? Have you noticed that the Cat has a funny hat, a bow tie, and a box that's bigger on the inside? I wonder if he ever wanted to be ginger...

The mission, of course, is the real plot of The Cat in the Hat. That fish is not as innocent as he seems.

Finding where I got the deerstalker hat with a pipe is really quite elementary, my dear.

The choice of a fez was totally intentional. I actually wrote this ending speech first trying to fit the fez in somehow. The fez and bow tie.


End file.
